In the Fall of 2004 we were excited to send our child, a youth leader in our parish and diocese, to AMU. Just as when her brother had entered the seminary and her sister a religious order, our daughter entered Ave Maria filled with high hopes and aspirations.

During our campus visit Father Fessio had explained that Ave Maria Town would serve as a bridge between wealthy Naples with poor Immokalee - "overnight the very mission of the University had changed" to bridge these two worlds. We asked about finances and when accreditation would be granted. Ave Maria administrators told us we could "work something out" financially and accreditation would be granted "in the near future." We believed everything we were told.

Just weeks into her first term we noticed our daughter was becoming secretive and somewhat withdrawn. On the phone she was constantly asking us to "Wait a minute" until someone had passed by. She started calling us at all hours, waiting until dark and then walking off-campus to talk. Later in the year she indicated her reluctance to go to confession on campus. During our visits to campus, in the car our daughter would stare straight ahead and not speak, except to say "Wait", until we were a good ways (perhaps a mile) from campus; while conversing in Naples' restaurants she was constantly taking nervous glances over her shoulder. By midyear our confident and outgoing daughter had become strangely timid and at the same time nervous and uncertain.

While driving back from Naples at the end of her first year at AMU, our daughter said my wife and I should attend RCIA to "learn more about our Church." Our home library is full of Church documents (that we've read) and my wife and I have both been actively involved in the Church for decades. We asked just what she meant. "I don't mean to be insulting but I don't think you're very good Catholics and need to be re-catechized." Further questioning revealed this suggestion had been made by one of the AMU priests: "Go home and teach your parents the faith." Over the next several weeks of family activities, these ideas and the distant glaze in her eyes diminished and my daughter returned to her bubbly and confident self. She again became enthusiastic about going to confession. Though she was unsure about returning to AMU she thought she'd give it one more try.

Year two at AMU was worse. We tried for weeks during the summer to get basic financial aid information and again were told we could "work it out" in Naples. Once in Naples the financial aid officer had a different message: "Come back next semester when you have money." The institutional loans AMU had made the prior year were no longer being made, and we were told that numerous families that had made the car trip to Naples had been sent packing. The financial aid people didn't suggest alternative loans - we did! - and at the last possible minute took out the only available (private) loans. It was a portent of things to come. Throughout the year we relied on a family friend in the administration to intervene in many disturbing incidents conveyed by our daughter. "Healing Masses" and other "liturgical oddities" began to appear on campus. The lavish (donated) doghouse appeared but still there was no functioning library. Our daughter reported that "Everything seems to be about the town, and no one except some faculty seems to care about the school." With accreditation still up in the air, we had all had enough.

We came to learn, and experienced first-hand, that AMU is an environment of constant "surveillance and judgment" of the real or imagined faults of others. Perhaps we should have seen that coming when, at a Mass on campus, the priest spent the bulk of his homily disparaging public universities as not requiring any real work ("they give away degrees for doing nothing") and also criticizing "universities that are Catholic in name only". It was as though the worth of AMU could only be established by mercilessly thrashing other institutions. If you agreed, welcome, you were "with us." I came to learn the "us" was not Catholics, or even conservative Catholics - it is Catholics who embrace a singular vision of AMU and the town of Ave Maria. Any questioning of that vision (or questioning anything, it seemed) meant you were one of "them" - the sort of secularized Catholic AMU is designed to "correct".

My daughter transferred out of AMU and her transformation since attending an academically strong Catholic liberal arts institution is phenomenal. There were immediate and significant improvements in her writing and reasoning skills. She developed new musical and athletic interests that simply weren't available at AMU and made many new friends of varying backgrounds and interests. She attended daily Mass, weekly confession and explored opportunities in the community. While there were fewer formal dances and catered dinners in gated communities, our daughter's (already strong) social skills further blossomed.

We learned that the academics at AMU were less rigorous than what was suggested in the homilies, and in fact the faculty at my daughter's new institution recognized (and acted to correct) certain common academic deficiencies from AMU students. At her new institution there were a number of "Ave refugees," students who had transferred from AMU and AMC to finish their degrees at an accredited institution. Each had their own story of "escaping" Ave Maria that typically included "losing" their Ave Maria friends simply because they were pursuing their educations elsewhere.

The college admissions people will tell you "it's all about 'fit'". Students thrive at institutions with differing programs and opportunities. AMU told us plainly they were "the absolute best place" to study the liberal arts in a Catholic environment. Parents and grandparents - don't believe it. The academics at AMU leave very much to be desired and it's questionable whether improving academics is even a priority for the institution. We never saw evidence of any "bridge" between rich and poor but only a gated community lifestyle divorced from the realities of the everyday lives of most Catholics (and not only the farm workers in Immokalee). Three years later, AMU is still unaccredited. Just about everything we were told turned out to be untrue.

Above all, however, we saw an environment where the free expression of the human spirit is thwarted. This smothering of human potential has nothing to do with virtue; ultimately that environment has victimized even the likes of Fr. Fessio. Do your child a favor and consider one of several ex corde institutions that do not reflect the cult-like environment of AMU.

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UPDATE, 6/14/07 - Listed below are excerpts from select comments received from Ave Maria parents since this article was posted. [square brackets added] (parenthesis in original)

"Poor thing! I'm glad she's out of there. But thanks for the letter--it does vindicate what I've been trying to tell people all along (that Ave Maria has cult behavior and a climate of fear), particularly when you add to it the stories of practices like people requiring students to register even when they're transferring out. Shameless."

"I just read the post from the Ave parent. Wow. I concur. Thank you for sharing this."

"AMU resembled more of a boarding school than a college.. [Our child] had more freedoms at home that's for sure. She grew up on the internet, and as a homeschooler was operating her own internet business... Is there bad stuff out there? Sure, just like anywhere! But there's so much good as well. Sounds like, uh, the world doesn't it?!? It's an interesting metaphor for Ave Maria Town given Tom Monaghan's statements about banning this and that evil thing. Yes there is evil in the world, but there is also great good. Living in a large city we get both extremes and I don't think it's accidental that where there is great evil, there is also great holiness. The AMU approach seems to be to ban everything and then "admit" only "approved" information, materials, people, whatever. Whether it's Monaghan, Healy, or Fessio doing the approving - I for one am not interested in living in some world of their design. The world God designed works for me, thank you!"

Tags: accountability, environment